BPD and the Inner Child: Building Self-Leadership

"The thing about BPD is that it makes you feel like a child. Since most of us weren't allowed to express our emotions when we were young, we have so much trouble regulating them now and it can be embarrassing when we're not able to deal with them in a restrained manner." [BPD Meme from Facebook]

I understand how experiencing emotions intensely can feel like a return to childhood, especially when there wasn’t an opportunity to learn healthy ways to process and express feelings early on. This challenge in regulating emotions is common for those who, like you said, weren’t allowed to express them freely when young.

In the Integrated Self-Realization approach, we view each person as having multiple 'parts' or internal roles formed from past experiences and emotions. For many with a history of unexpressed emotions, there can be an 'inner child' part that holds these unmet emotional needs. When this part is triggered, it can lead to reactions that feel overwhelming, often due to unmet developmental needs.

One goal of ISR is to help people build what we call a strong Self-Leader—a central, compassionate core within that can mediate and guide these inner parts. By developing this Self-Leader, you can begin to understand the unmet needs of your inner child without judgment and learn to meet those needs in ways that help you feel more balanced and in control.

Through practice, this approach can also help replace feelings of embarrassment with self-compassion, as you begin to see these emotional responses not as flaws but as signals from parts of you that need attention. You’re building a nurturing, supportive relationship within yourself, where each part can be heard and ultimately regulated, reducing emotional upheavals and creating a sense of inner harmony.